If you speak down to them, they make feel like you’re being aggressive or might feel like you’re trying to boss them around. This may make them upset.

Keep your face neutral or friendly while you’re listening. For instance, you might give them a soft smile. It’s also helpful to nod along with what they’re saying so they know you’re listening.

For instance, ask, “Are you cold?” rather than, “Do you need another blanket to help you stay warm?” Similarly, say, “Drink your medicine,” not “Okay, so now you’re going to take this so you feel better. ”

You might say, “Think about it as long as you need to. ”

Say, “I understand that you were served the wrong lunch today. I’m sorry that happened to you, and we’ll try very hard to do better tomorrow. ”

For instance, if their doctor asks, “How is your hip feeling?” You might say, “Tell them how sore you are, Grandma. ”

For instance, let’s say you’re talking to a family member who’s come to visit. When they arrive, ask the person with dementia, “Do you remember Kate?” Later in the conversation, you might say something like, “Isn’t that funny?” or “What do you think, Grandma?” It doesn’t matter if what they say makes sense. Just go along with it so they feel included.

Aggressive behaviors to watch for include shouting, name calling, pushing, and hitting. In some cases, they may also throw objects. [9] X Trustworthy Source Alzheimer’s Association Nonprofit organizaton focused on supporting those affected by Alzheimer’s and promoting research on the disease Go to source It’s okay to take a break when the person is being aggressive. This gives them a chance to calm down and lets you relax your nerves.

You might say, “I can see that you’re very upset about this. I understand how you feel, and I want to help. ”

It’s best to follow a routine so you know that they’re getting their needs met. Schedule their meals and snacks, bathroom breaks, and when they take their medication.

For example, let’s say the person wants to wear 2 shirts at the same time. This won’t hurt them, so just let them do it. Similarly, if the person wants to flip TV channels continuously, just let them do it. Look away from the TV if it bothers you. Eventually, they’ll get tired of doing this on their own.

For instance, you might notice that the person gets upset when you play loud music in another room. You might be able to calm them down by turning the volume down. Similarly, they may get upset when they see their reflection because they don’t recognize themself. In this case, you could remove or cover the bathroom, bedroom, and hallway mirrors.

For example, spray their favorite perfume, serve their favorite meals, and put out photos of people they love. Similarly, play their favorite songs and turn on their favorite shows. This will give them a sense of security and will help calm their mood.

How you include them will depend on the severity of their condition. For instance, someone in the early stages of dementia may be able to do most things on their own. If the person is moderately affected, they may be able to try things like dressing themself or getting a snack but may need a lot of help. If the person has severe dementia, you might do most of the task for them.

For example, if the person has trouble figuring out which bedroom is theirs, put up a label. Similarly, if they get confused about which medication to take, put them in containers marked with “morning” and “night. "

For instance, soup and mashed potatoes are both easy to eat. Schedule meal times so that they become a routine. If the person starts refusing a certain dish, try a food with a different taste. It’s possible that the person has developed a dislike for a certain flavor, like saltiness.

If the person has trouble with coordination, make sure their cane or walker is nearby at all times. Similarly, you might ensure that they have sturdy furniture to hold onto when necessary. Check that rugs and carpets are straight and flat against the floor. They can become trip hazards if the rug gets bent or flipped up.

For instance, you might help the person get into the shower and sit in their shower seat, but you might let them wipe themself with the washcloth.

If they struggle to put on the pieces, help them with that, as well.