Constant criticism Name calling Humiliation Exerting financial control Issuing ultimatums Shaming or blaming
You could say, “Please don’t talk to me like that. Maybe we can talk later when you are calm. ” You can also try using “I statements” such as, “I feel bad when you say things like that. I don’t deserve to be treated like this. ” Using “I statements” is a good idea because it can prevent the other person from feeling defensive.
You can say something like, “I need a few minutes by myself” or even, “There’s something I need to take care of. Please excuse me. " Walking away can also give you time to collect yourself. It’s really stressful to be abused, so it can really help to take some calming breaths and let your heart rate slow down. Walk away for however long you need to. It can be a few minutes or longer.
For example, you might think to yourself, “I know they are really upset about their mom being sick. That doesn’t make the behavior okay, but I know they are taking out their frustrations on me. This is not personal. “[4] X Research source The person might be struggling with issues like low self-esteem, stress from a difficult life situation, lack of healthy relationship skills due to bad parenting, or an untreated illness like depression or anxiety. That doesn’t make it right for them to abuse you, but acknowledging their situation can help you understand and process the situation.
This might seem like you’re ignoring or validating the abuse. In reality, it’s a good way to stop the abuse in the moment and continue on with your day. This typically will be most effective in a work or social setting. If it is a family member or partner who is abusing you, you’ll want to try other methods, too. If emotional abuse at work is persistent, speak to your manager or HR.
Yoga Meditation Deep breathing Regular physical exercise Getting enough sleep Enjoying a hobby Getting outdoors Spending time with people whose company you enjoy
For example, “I’m having a really tough time with Taylor lately. They seem angry all the time and keep saying it’s my fault. This is hard for me to talk about, but I wondered if you could listen and offer me some advice?” You can share as much or as little as you want. You can also just ask someone to spend some time doing something fun with you, like going to a movie. They can also just lend you a shoulder to lean on. It can make you feel better if you know that someone is in your corner.
Consider couples counseling or family counseling with the other person, if they’re willing. You might be able to find new, healthy ways to communicate.
Do a quick online search for a hotline in the country where you live. In the US, call 1-800-799-7233[10] X Trustworthy Source National Domestic Violence Hotline Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse Go to source In Canada, call 1-866-661-3311[11] X Research source In the UK, call 0808 80 200 28[12] X Research source There are also helplines that offer text chats and online chats, as well.
Emergency funds in an account that only you have access to All of your important papers (ID, passport, etc. ) all together in a secure place Your phone fully charged at all times Somewhere you can go at a moment’s notice, like a friend or family member’s house
If you live with the abuser, make sure that you have a plan in place before you end the relationship. For example, have your new living situation already arranged. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship. While you made the right choice, you’ll still need time to process a wide range of emotions. Be patient and kind to yourself.
Stop criticizing yourself. If you have negative thoughts about yourself, replace them with positive ones. Do the same when you find yourself criticizing someone else.
For example, if you find yourself isolating someone from others, take a step back. Say to yourself, “This is not okay. I need to find a more positive way to interact with this person. ”
It can be really hard to quit. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. There are support lines and mental health professionals who can help you. Avoid situations where you might be offered alcohol or drugs.
If you are abusing a loved one, make it a point to look for ways to have fun with them. For example, if you and your spouse regularly fight about how to raise your kids, do something on your own to shift the focus back to the positive part of your relationship.
Ask your doctor or friends or family for a recommendation to a therapist. If possible, try a joint session with the person that you are acting negatively towards. You can hopefully find new ways to communicate.
